Fight For Your Smile

The simplest way to influence is smile “A leader’s smile can give people life; his kindness is like a spring rain” Proverbs 16:15 –Rick Warren author, Senior Pastor Saddleback Church

I must admit I have been extremely negligent in my blogging, with the completion of school, new opportunities in my career, and the chance to serve the youth on a larger scale both secular and spiritually my blogging has suffered. To that end I found it necessary to share a lesson God has been and continues to teach me: The Importance of being delivered from people and their inconsistencies to effectively minister to people consistently.

The word minister contrary to popular opinion doesn’t mean exclusivity, being catered to, and revered by the masses, but actually means to serve, to operate with humility while being attentive to the needs of others. Honestly nothing brings me more joy than serving others. It is my passion; it is what I do intrinsically with no ulterior motives or hidden agendas. While I enjoy receiving is pales in comparison to the joy of giving. I am hypersensitive to the needs of others, and will do anything in my power and through the power of God to ensure those needs are met. I am not talking about the myopic form of ministry of preaching or teaching, but I am referring to the preaching that occurs in the absence of words when the actions of my life resound in the lives of others. Just like a waiter who anticipates the needs of the customer, it is my desire to serve everyone I meet, it makes me smile.

I have been in a fight for my smile. With the more people we encounter the more opportunity we have to serve, but it also increases the opportunities to be vulnerable based on the position that true service places us in. While it is a gift to be sensitive to the needs of others, it also entails a danger where you can become susceptible to the negativity and criticism of those who you serve. It is here where I have seen so many and have even fallen into the trap myself of becoming biter, callous, and indifferent towards others. The mentality behind this behavior is hurt and insecurity and the desire not to feel this again. We then minimize love by only loving those who are convenient, and shout when the preacher talks about haters, but get extremely quiet when the preacher gives instructions to love our enemies. We often become the victim and adopt a victim mentality all the while there true self, heart, and passion, are being eroded slowly by unresolved pain, and ultimately we loose our smile.

If we loose this internal battle and succumb to bitterness we will lose our external smile, impact, and influence and belief in the ultimate good and potential in others. I have resolved this is not an option. Jesus’ inner circle of Peter, James, and John wanted to build Jesus a tabernacle in the moment of his glory on the Mount of Transfiguration, but were sleep in the garden of Gethsemane in the moment of is most intense pain and anguish. While some will indeed desire to tabernacle with you in the mountain the reality is they will sleep on you and abandon you in the moments of pain. If we can resist the urge to become bitter, we will see that Peter, James, and John will evolve into powerful world changers and ultimately we will rise from our pain and God will be glorified, and when God is glorified, my smile returns.

No, For Real This TIme

As a child I was extremely competitive. I have matured to a certain degree, and this competitive nature has matured and evolved to unwrap a drive inside that motivates me to pursue purpose. However, gotta keep it real, sometimes my competitive nature can’t be suppressed and manifests itself through a monopoly game or during domino game where my south central LA can come out. Currently my competitive nature is manifested as an extreme Lakers fan. I was dismayed after the Lakers loss on Christmas Day to LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. I went outside and began to play basketball (I guess I thought somehow, I was at Staples Center and could have avenged the Lakes loss by my performance in the backyard) and I began to shoot free throws. Free throws are an interesting component of the game of basketball in that there is no defender and no opposition. The competition is within myself, and success or failure is contingent on my ability. The first time I was shooting, I shot ten shots and only made five. This was quite frustrating, because I knew I was better than that. No one knew I shot poorly, but I did. At that moment I said within myself, “You are better than that,” the next statement was “No for real, this time.” This statement was like pressing reset on Nintendo after you lost in Mario Brothers. This statement was like David repenting in Psalm 51, and saying, "Create in me a clean heart and renew a right Spirit within me." I re-focused, and then proceeded to make 8 of 10 free throws. To make sure the improvement wasn’t attributed to luck, I shot 10 more and made 9 of 10.

Often we have an underlying spirit of competition that drives us. We compete for the attention and affirmation of those we love. We compete to prove others wrong who have placed limitations on who or what we can be. When man is the source of our motivation, we can win their affirmation and discover that it was a prize without purpose. However when God is the source of our drive our purpose is realized. I have found that the greatest competition isn’t from external opposition but from internal opposition. Much like Jesus’ greatest battle wasn’t with scribes, Pharisees, or even those who crucified Him, but His greatest battle occurred within himself between His flesh and Spirit, in the Garden of Gethsemane. He ultimately he arrived a the conclusion I desire, Nevertheless not my will but your will be done.

No for real this time, I can’t expect things to change with the same behaviors and disciplines. Change is not haphazard or random, but it deliberate and intentional, and doesn’t happen for us, but happens through us. Just as I declared in the backyard, I am declaring in my life, I am better than that. I am better than sporadic emotional swings that are connected to relationship status, financial status, and circumstances. I am better than bitterness and unforgiveness. I am better than complacency and average. It is so cliché to say “This is My Year” the only way it will be your year is if you make definitive decisions punctuated by action to make it your year, otherwise 365 days from now we will be in the same place, with the same unrealized desires.

Our pursuit of God, is what ultimately matters, other subsequent pursuits even if realized at best are temporal. It is incumbent of us to pursue God with a reckless abandon with the assurance that His will encompasses the best for us in every area of our lives. Discipline and consistency will yield optimal results next year. Closeness of God is not experienced exclusively through how our emotions feel towards God, but rather through consistency and a daily pursuit of His presence. Disciplines such as prayer, fasting and bible study can’t be minimized. To pursue purpose without God and his word is the equivalent of trying to reach a destination without fuel and direction. Many youth and young adults have expressed a desire to know more of God’s word, and this demand has been met with the expansion of our Christian Education class to include ages 19 to 35. We have issued assignments and I am so impressed by the response of so many who have taken advantage of these opportunities to grow in God, and not be satisfied with the preachers revelation of God, but a real desire to learn His word for themselves. Please take advantage of these resources. Much of what we question and desire can be found in the word of God, however procrastination and complacency delays our spiritual and personal growth. No For real, this time May God increase my faith and commitment towards Him and may my actions become evidence of this increase.

May Gods will for our lives in 2010 be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Dear Mind, We need to talk...

Dear Mind,

We need to talk. This is a conversation that has been a long time coming. Actually, I need to talk to you, because it seems as if you have a tendency to dominate the conversation. Our relationship is complex to say the least. Sometimes you are so in sync with reality, and other times you create your own reality that is non-existent to everyone else but me. You dictate my actions, and provide direction, and I rely on you, which sometimes leads me with clarity to my pathway of purpose and other times to dead ends filled with confusion. Whenever good is on the horizon, you always remind me of all of the negative possibilities. It is as if you are afraid to have faith and go 100% because if you brace yourself it seemingly won’t hurt as bad if it doesn’t work out, I attribute this to your pride and ego. Because you are so smart, you never like to be wrong or hurt at any cost. As you think the worst, subsequently my expectation is minimized and I attract the worst possible scenario and you say “I told you so.” You would rather be secure and right in a bad situation than risk being vulnerable and expecting positive outcomes. This pseudo security is a poor cover for your insecurities.

This strategy has gotten us nowhere, and you know as well as I do, that the definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior while expecting different results. So no more bracing for the worst and creating negative realities that don’t existent, no more playing out scenarios that are driven by fear, because ultimately we know you have power, and if you dwell on fear, which is spirit not given by God it will attract negativity. If only you would focus on faith, we would not talk about the next dimension, but would perpetually dwell there. My entire attitude, demeanor, behavior and disposition is contingent on what you think. You have the ability to conjure up the shadiest schemes, to the extent that when you sin, you can’t call it “backsliding”, or plead insanity, because it was premeditated. There is a problem if you are thinking of your plan of repentance prior to your sin.

It’s not all your fault. I take responsibility. The truth is you are a product of what I feed you. Sometimes because I don’t want to be alone with you, I turn on the TV to anesthetize you, because I know when you and I are in the presence of God, we are always inspired and constantly challenged to be bigger than we are, to embrace greatness. You keep telling me “it’s only a little…” A little television, a little face book, a little conversation, a little secular music, When all of these “littles” are put together they become a lot. You are right these things aren’t sinful in and of themselves and often can help keep me grounded and balanced, but when not mingled with a little prayer, a little consecration, and a little bible reading (not the kind you do professionally to prepare to speak or to write a paper) you become a vacuum for negativity. So En Vogue, I hope you are right on this one, I am going to free my mind, with the expectation that the rest will follow. A new mind will produce a new me, that will house the capacity to embrace a new year filled with possibility.

I am frustrated with you at times to say the least; I am tired of the fluctuation that occurs in our relationship. At times I would love to severe our relationship, but the fact remains, I need you. I really need you, because when you are in sync with God, and His word, we are unstoppable. You are beautiful and creative. You never cease to amaze me. You find ways to express what my heart desires to convey to others. You entertain me; there are some flights when you simply amuse me for hours. At times you are brilliant. While I am often a prisoner of your analysis, you often liberate the sentiments of my heart to be conveyed to others. So God elevate my mind, my thoughts to your thoughts, and my ways to your ways. I choose faith over fear. I choose to think the best in every situation. I am loosing my mind, and I am realizing that sometimes you have to loose it, to renew it. Transform me by the renewing of my mind; this is my prayer in Jesus name.

Sincerely,
Christopher

Say What You Need to Say

Just arrived in Denver Colorado and during my time of reflection, I just want to share some of my thoughts…

Last week was tremendously difficult with the passing of Care Pastor Trenese Durham; I am so amazed with the resilience love, and strength of the Durham family. I sat late Saturday evening in the driveway across Deacon Durham, and sat across from one of the strongest, compassionate, committed, and loving men the world will ever know.

The day after her passing Tiana text me, and said, she just wanted to be close with the saints, this text turned into a evening I will never forget, thanks to the CWC Youth and Young Adult Ministries staff, we disseminated information via text, face book, and phone calls, and we gathered together for an evening that shifted our perspective for ever. One by one we shared our reflections of Pastor Durham, how she inspired each of us, and how we are going to accept the challenge of carrying her legacy in ministry. We wrote letters to God, loved ones, and then shared them with each other. The evening culminated with affirmations and validations. As we held hands in a circle we all began to realize the importance of our words, and we said things to each other that could no longer wait. That night we didn’t shout, we didn’t sing, and no one preached, but instead of having church we were church. With our tears, words, and hugs we were one.

Why do we wait? To express ourselves causes us to be vulnerable, and often there is an unspoken fear of what will happen if our expression isn’t reciprocated. The bible declares that there is no fear in love, and perfect love cast out all fear. If our expression is linked to response alone, love then can be reduced to a tool of manipulation. But real love performs regardless of the response, it is self-sacrificing.

My life, like everyone has had a myriad of trials, I have vacillated between mountaintops and valleys. 2 things that give me peace at night are 1.) Knowing that I am in the will of God, and operating in His purpose, knowing that I do what I was created to do. 2.) Knowing that I have expressed to my loved ones how much they mean to me. This second one took a little getting used to, but I discovered I would much rather live with knowing I said what I needed to say (Thanks John Mayer) as opposed to opportunities passing and me living the rest of my life with regret.

Ryan inspired me because in the passing of Care Pastor Durham she sent me an email letting me know how grateful she was for leadership and the role we play in her life. Then today, Ain, my dear Sister sent me an email, and said I sparked a new phenomenon of expression, and she proceeded to write me a letter telling me how I have impacted her life. I am not going to lie, (blogs are or should be transparent), it was so hard for me to read both Ryan and Ain’s correspondences, because it made me vulnerable, I have to learn that it is unfair to give love and deny it when it comes back. It would be silly to sew seeds of love and reject the harvest when it arrives. I must admit this is a covert defense mechanism that those in ministry or service must be aware of. Some of us often have no problem giving love, but when it comes to receiving love it makes us vulnerable, and because we perhaps have been hurt in the past we don’t want to receive something that can be taken away. My goal is to love like it is the first time, because Jesus does it every time after He forgives me.

So please, do not take life for granted. Our time on earth is temporal, and love will last forever, because God is love. Even death is a portal for new and deeper revelation of God. While you are here forgive quickly because God forgives you, love is activated when you release it, so love others, this is how people will know you are Christ’s disciple.

Reality Check

Dear God,

I love worship, because it provides a reality check. It is so easy to become consumed with the cares of this world. Healthcare, Kanye West's outburst on the Video Music Awards (so ironic how so many overt and covert messages of sin and anti-christ were presented in this program all under the auspices of entertainment. So grateful that while my flesh wanted to argue that I was being hyper-spiritual, my Spirit let me know there is no such thing and not to ignore when my Spirit speaks, because the same spiritual sensitivity will be needed to also hear You when you say “Come my people Come” in the rapture) and subsequent apology on the Jay Leno Show, working on the paper that is due this Friday, preparing a message for Sunday, new opportunities with my job and MTV, and speaking at a fundraiser this Saturday evening in the Bay Area. However in the midst of these concerns, I checked myself and was reminded by God that nothing is more important than God and the soon return of Jesus Christ. There is a feeling in the air and the world knows that we are on the edge of something great occurring. Forgive me for going days, weeks, and sometimes months without having a Godly perspective concerning life.

God my prayer is that you will connect me with you causing me to see reality and prioritize my life in a way that pleases you. Allow me to be examined thoroughly by the Holy Spirit so I can become more like you. Check my motives and make sure that I do the right things for the right reasons. The only way I can be an effective leader is if I am a diligent and dedicated follower and disciple of you. Prepare me for your imminent return. I don’t have time to be consumed or caught up with anything other than You. Let me see myself, others, and the world the way you see me. Let my heart mind and Spirit ascend through the power of worship, so I can be used by you to the fullest prior to your return. Intensify my consecration, and never allow me to confuse grace and liberties of Christ as pseudo-license to sin. God tonight I ask that your presence will envelope me in this room. Embrace me as I embrace you, for your word declared that if I draw nigh unto you, you will draw night unto me. I pray that all who read this note will be magnetically drawn to you in a way they have never felt before. Allow the warm embrace of Your Spirit to comfort and provide peace to all. Tonight, I don’t pray tonight for relationship stuff, career stuff, financial stuff, but my sole request is for more of you. Thank you for reminding me of what really matters and for providing a reality check. I love you and desire to be more like you. My desire is for You to see your reflection when You see me.

Love,
Christopher

The Potential Concerns and Benefits of Social Networking featuring Alicia Sheppard

Social networking is sweeping the world. Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, etc are all realities that have infiltrated our world and have been woven into the fabric of our culture. When one is immersed in various facets of social networking it is often difficult to see what is happening as opposed to stepping back and observing from a panoramic view to gain a better perspective.

Potential Concerns

Technology a vehicle that was used to bring us together is often something that causes separation. While in Pasadena I met my family for dinner after class at Maggiano’s in the Grove. I found it interesting that once we were all seated, we made sure that everyone’s phones were off to guarantee that we actually had a family dinner. In the 21st century I would submit that while the world is more interconnected than ever it is simultaneously more disconnected than ever. Many people miss the magnitude of the moment, because their attention is constantly shared and diverted towards the various devices that are included with their cell phones.

With facebook, it can become addicting. There are some people who are constantly online with facebook, and I wonder if in some ways have they logged off of life? Or is life in sleep mode? Perhaps behind consistent connection to facebook is a cry for real connection and a subtle acknowledgement of internal disconnect. The day I recognized I needed to check myself was when I woke up and reached to check my facebook on my phone before getting on my knees to pray. That let me know I had an issue that desperately needed to be addressed. My priorities needed realignment quickly! Another concern is life becoming entertainment. Since I know that people will check my page, the temptation could ensue to present a show of myself that is entertaining which may stem from an underlying desire for affirmation and validation.
So now life has the danger of becoming a reality show, a version of the truth that is edited to gain ratings and approval. People will go for the jugular in an attempt to re-present themselves in a fashion that will capture attention. Not only are we the stars of the show but also the consumers. Updates become news, and we run the risk of becoming “a busy body in other men’s matters I Peter 4:15.” Facebook places me in danger of becoming entertained and in other people’s business instantly. As a result we might only see our facebook friends as characters, instead of actual people with actual hearts and spirits.
Another potential danger is the pseudo anonymity that facebook provides. One can hide behind the keyboard and express themselves in ways that they would normally not do in real life. It is far easier to click on a “friend request” as opposed to actually approaching a person and establishing a genuine friendship.

So before I further put myself in a position as anti-facebook individual, I must acknowledge the reason for acknowledging the potential dangers is so they can be avoided and the benefits of social networking can fully be embraced. I can’t begin to talk about the potential power of unity and connection. I have reconnected with so many individuals from elementary, junior, senior high school, and college who have shared their spiritual journeys and where they are now. The testimonies and words of encouragement posted on facebook have often been the words of encouragement that I needed. Just to see how individuals have matured and have careers and families is a tremendous blessing and quite encouraging.

As a matter of fact, I made the acquaintance of a young lady at a wedding (What’s up Lal and Tiana?!) in the past, and reconnected with her via facebook and discovered that she is an author http://www.thesheppardstouch.net/Alicias_Page.html (I am aspiring to be one myself) and has an undeniable passion and love for God. as a matter I asked her to write the 2nd half of this blog and address the potential benefits of Social networking, and she so graciously obliged! So here is Ms. Alicia Sheppard:

Potential Benefits

I have to admit, I find it almost difficult to continue because at times I find myself falling into the same potentially unhealthy habits listed above that “facebook culture” can encourage. And my blackberry doesn’t help with that flashing red light that lets me know whenever I have a new notification! Certainly we need to remember that various forms of entertainment and technology, online communities included, can become distractions or even addictions if we let them, and can actually reduce the quality of our time with God and others. But, if used correctly, social networking can be a positive addition to our lives. Like many things, it’s a terrible foundation, but a very useful accessory.

For me during college, friends and social events were not only plentiful, but they were highly accessible. Class, dorms, the quad, the library, the cafeteria, and the gym were all places where you ran into people you knew all the time. Life after college, however, is a little different—work, bills, and an apartment are the more common fixtures of daily life and have much less built-in fun and socializing (thank God for our church communities!). Many young adults feel isolated outside of the school environment because friends are farther away and social gatherings require a lot more work and planning to put together. Social networking is a way to recreate some of that accessibility to friends and loved ones again. After all, it’s not God’s plan for us to sulk alone in our isolated corners. God’s word says “it is not good for man to be alone,” (Gen 2:18). I believe that principle not only applies to God’s design for marriage, but also to God’s plan for human life in general—a life that is to be characterized by fellowship and relationships. Online communities are used for good when they aid us in maintaining those relationships, especially with people whom we might not interact with regularly otherwise. “We’ll keep in touch” is no longer an empty cliché thrown out there just to be polite. In some cases facebook was the only way I was able to keep up with out-of-state friends’ marriages, graduations, new babies, or other major milestones!

In the New Testament, we see how the apostles really prioritized maintaining connections with the early churches. They sent requests for help, words of encouragement, prayer requests, and even testimonies to one other. But because of the lack of technology, communication usually involved sending hand-written letters or undertaking long journeys by foot or boat. Thank goodness we don’t have to do all of that anymore. Imagine that now, the body of Christ is able to continue to make interconnection a priority, but we can do so with the click of a button! Just last week one of my facebook friends posted a prayer request in her status for a friend who had been hospitalized. She asked for the prayer warriors to rally together and intercede, and within minutes, many had posted words of encouragement, reassuring her they had already begun praying! Matthew 18:20 says, “Where are two or three are gathered, there I am in the midst of them,” and in this instance many more than that had responded in just moments! How awesome that on a random weeknight we have the ability to instantly connect with other believers this way.

But not only can we reach out to our spiritual family, we can also reach out to those who don’t know God. We have the ability to spread truth rapidly. I’ve been surprised at the ways a little facebook thread about a particular scripture or a posted video clip of an inspiring message has opened up a dialog with people who don’t have a relationship with Christ. There have been times when I thought to myself, “This person is not going to care about this post!” But every time I have decided to share part of my faith with people the Lord put on my heart, it’s always led to at least one conversation. That should encourage us to really use these communities as opportunities to be a light for God to those in darkness. Now the REAL challenge is to do that more often.

Lastly, don’t forget the value of good old-fashioned clean fun! After all, “a merry heart does good like medicine!” (Proverbs 17:22). Every now and then we just need a good laugh—a release from the stresses and burdens of the day. How many times have you logged on to a social networking site and seen a post from someone that just gave you the biggest laugh you’d had all day? Laughter is a ministry, and a much needed one! In fact, the entertainment value and levity of sites like facebook can even be the light that attracts unbelievers to your page, because they realize you are human like them, and can have fun without compromising your integrity! Then you can sprinkle in some salt (the Word) to also edify.
Beware of the potential dangers and then maximize the benefits—who knows who you’ll be able to connect (or in my case today, RE-connect) with!

Thank you so much Alicia! Ultimately, like impact of social networking is determined based on one’s motivation, balance and prioritization. God, in all things teach us investigate and purify our motives, teach us balance, and allow our priorities to begin with you as primary in our lives. As a result when people connect with us through any medium allow them to connect with You, and Your love, and Your power, this in my prayer, in Jesus Name, Amen.

An Inside Look at the Process

In our culture we often reveal the product of our success while keeping the process a secret. Others are then unable to duplicate our success because we have hidden what it takes to get there. One of my favorite shows on MTV was “Making the Video.” It allowed the viewer to see the behind the scenes raw footage that went into making the polished finish product. This week I am preparing for a message that will equip, and empower individuals in the areas of sexuality and relationships. I am certain that by Sunday, God will give me the finished product, but I just want to share the behind the scenes footage and my personal process.

This process mimics that of the High Priest in the Hold Testament served as a liaison or mediator between God and mankind. 2 Corinthians 5:18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; We all are given the responsibility of representing God to mankind causing the world to become connected with Him though us.

It is 3:30 a.m. and prior to being used by God in any fashion there is a spiritual detox that happens. A spiritual, emotional, and mental emptying must occur. The degree to which we are empty determines the capacity to which God can fill us.

The Old Testament High Priest went through a similar process (stopping at the laver, lamp stand, altar of incense, the table of Showbread the veil, and ultimately arriving in the Most Holy Place, where the presence of God resided) where gradually He became more like God, as He prepared to see God face to face. True Worship of God is when we stand face to face in His presence and God sees Himself in us and us in Him. The High Priest stopped at the brazen altar, a place of repentance. It is here where I acknowledge everything that is not like God, and relinquish and turn away from it. This process is not always easy. Sometimes hurt that we experience can produce bitterness and resentment. We then can feel entitled to hold on to it, however when God looks at us, it is our desire for Him to see His reflection in us, and He doesn’t have bitterness and resentment, but unconditional love.

The Old Testament High Priest alluded to Jesus the ultimate High Priest, who was 100%man and 100% God. He represents man to God, meaning He takes on all of our sins, inadequacies, and deficiencies, goes beyond the veil on our behalf to atone and cover what is not like God. After coming from the most Holy Place, the High Priest then represents God to man. Jesus, this morning as I aspire to be an effective mediator like you, I attempt to place myself in your position and now I have nothing but gratitude.

Jesus it effects and hurts you personally when I sin. Often I find it hard to imagine how Judas could betray you, and Peter deny you and I forget the times when I have embodied both of them through my behavior. Yet you don’t allow your personal hurt to stop your assignment of going to God on my behalf. To be effective in ministry you have to be exposed and vulnerable enough to be touched by people. This exposure can lead to hurt however being a victim can’t take precedence over the assignment of connecting people with God. What has happened personally that is coming between the profession or calling and responsibility that God has given you? Give these hurts to the Ultimate High priest, so you can effectively be used by God to bless His people. What you have gone through is a vehicle to take you to what God wants for you. Embrace the process and God will reveal a new you in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Now the World Premiere of he New You…