Amidst my frustration and disappointment with God, yes I get frustrated and disappointed with God at times. I took specific time to get in His presence and discovered so much about me that I hadn’t seen or maybe I did see it previously, but tried to ignore it. Think of it this way, God created us in His image and in His likeness. (Genesis 1:26) When we are in His presence it is like standing in front of a mirror, and we are able to see our imperfections and areas for improvement. Avoiding the mirror only causes one to live in denial, although denial is comfortable temporarily, it only delays adjustments that must be made.
Instead of always analyzing and contemplating how God does or doesn’t come through for me, I decided to think about how do I show up for Him? What kind of bride am I to my bridegroom?
Communication- No relationship can exist without communication. Communication of all kinds, including email, text messages, phone calls, and face to face connection are all contributors towards establishing a healthy relationship. I don’t always make God a priority like I should. Our conversations are quick, and the frequency of our conversations increases when I need something, or when issues are pressing in my life. Often times we don’t even have dialogues, but monologues and I do all the talking, and many times I don’t wait for a response from Him, but proceed to do things my way. When a text comes I respond immediately, when a phone call comes, I answer immediately, but when God seeks to call me, how many times have I let it go to voicemail? It is as if I have no regard for Your feelings. I am so busy seeing it from my perspective, that I rarely if ever even stop to consider your perspective.
Intimacy- When was the last time I held Your hand? When was the last time we were face to face? When was the last time we shared eye contact? When was the last time we had uninterrupted contact where You had all of my attention. When was the last time I made myself vulnerable and let You know that my mission was to please You, and You alone? When was the last time I let you know that I get satisfaction, from making you satisfied? When was the last time I preferred You over me?
Gratitude- When was the last time I said thank you for the little things? I take you for granted, as if you owe me new mercies every morning, breath, and a health. Even when You come through on what I consider “big things” (as if the things I take for granted I could have done myself) my thank you sounds like, “Good lookin out God” “Thanks!” If only the intensity of my asking and desire could match the intensity of my gratitude. I know You already know, but I still want You to hear it from me. No relationship can develop and flourish without reciprocity. So tonight I am coming back to say thank You. Far too long I’ve been like the 9 lepers who were healed and walked away, but tonight, I strive to be like the 1 who came back to say thank you and walked away not just healed, but whole. (Luke 17:12-19)
Initiation- If one party always initiates love, the initiating party begins to question, do they love me as much as I love them? As a result pride can set in, and both parties interact from a safe-zone based on fear. Now instead of unrestricted love, what you have is a chess match based on strategy, which comes from the mind and not the heart. Fortunately God you are not like man, You are love, and perfect love cast out all fear. (I John 4:18) Teach me how to love you, not the way I think you should be loved, but the way you want to be loved.
I will never forget the day you gave me my engagement ring, May 17, 1992. You gave me the earnest of my inheritance. You gave me your Spirit as a gift to let me know that we would be together forever. I even remember doing a message at the CWC Ashby location called, “We are meant to be Together” (Ephesians 1:13-14). As we get closer to the date of your return for me, Your bride, I don’t want the ceremony without the love. We do well in public, but I want to reach for you more in private. You deserve better. As I type with tears in my eyes, I want you to know it’s not you, it’s me. I am often afraid to acknowledge how desperate I am for you, because desperation leads to vulnerability and vulnerability can bring hurt. But, the fact is you roll model this self sacrificing love for me constantly. When I sin, I crucify you afresh, and yet you open Yourself back up time after time! No more excuses! You haven’t disappointed me, I have disappointed you. I love you Jesus, my heart beats for you. I am putting you back where you belong, as the first priority in my life, the object of my affection. KJV Psalm 63:8 “My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.” You have chased after me, but now the hunter will become the hunted. As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. Jesus I love you.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Jesus is the RockStar!
Two adjectives that describe our current world are Unstable and Dark. It seems as if nothing is constant, but everything is fluctuating and changing. Our government is unstable, the housing market is unstable, our economy is unstable, gas prices aren’t just unstable but ridiculous! All of us have directly or indirectly been affected by this instability. If we are honest, we must acknowledge that instability is not just around us, but at times also within us. We fluctuate between fear and faith, confidence and doubt, and optimism and pessimism. Because of the appearance of our situations our trust and reliance on God begins to waver. As I was praying this afternoon, I asked God to allow me to separate my faith and expectation in Him from particular outcomes. This is easier said than done. When I experience disappointment or my expectations aren’t met, I have an inclination to become frustrated with God. But today, I started (again!) a new practice of acknowledging God as sovereign despite outcomes. I can’t limit an infinite God to my finite expectations. I have decided to rest in his peace and stability and take solace in the fact that He alone (without my help) knows what’s best for me, and I want His will far above my will, and God wants what is best for me far more than I want what is best for myself! I believe those who are connected to God, will not have high highs or low lows because the have a peace that passes all understanding and recognize that God is fulcrum that brings life into balance.
It doesn’t take a theologian to determine that we are living in what the bible characterizes as “Perilous Times.” (II Timothy 3, read it!) The degradation of our society that was once subtle is now blatant. It is so pervasive that now we are often desensitized to the ills of our world. CNN says breaking news so much that I don’t even hesitate before turning the channel. Most of the music on the charts contains messages that clearly contradict the word of God. What we call music today is characterized, by the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. While we are hypnotized by a good beat, misogynist lyrics and messages of darkness are subliminally implanted into the minds of youth and young adults across the world.
In the midst of this instability we as Christians have a Rock that is stable and constant. David said, “When my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.” (Psalm 61) NAS Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. NIV Psalm 18:31 For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever; therefore we don’t have to fear change, because we are connected to what will never change. If our commitment and praise is connected to the Rock, then storms may come but our faith and commitment to God will yet remain.
Not only is Jesus our Rock, but He is our Star. When darkness covered the earth, God said, “Let there be light” and light appeared. When Jesus Christ was born, a star illuminated the sky from the East. Jesus encourages us KJV John 12:36 While ye have light, believe in the light, that ye may be the children of light. In His Sermon on the Mount, he said, KJV “Matthew 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
While we are living in dark times, we have an unprecedented opportunity to shine like never before! Don’t hesitate or contemplate, Seize the moment, and take advantage of every opportunity to shine for Christ.
So on August 17, 2008 Get Ready! The Youth and Young Adults of Covenant Worship Center are going to declare that “Jesus is the RockStar!” This will be the day where we will magnify our savior who transcends both instability and darkness. This will be a “Christian Worship Experience” like none other, complete with various expressions of worship and praise that all bring glory to God! Come with a Spirit of Praise and Expectation as we lift up or Rock and our Star, Jesus Christ!
It doesn’t take a theologian to determine that we are living in what the bible characterizes as “Perilous Times.” (II Timothy 3, read it!) The degradation of our society that was once subtle is now blatant. It is so pervasive that now we are often desensitized to the ills of our world. CNN says breaking news so much that I don’t even hesitate before turning the channel. Most of the music on the charts contains messages that clearly contradict the word of God. What we call music today is characterized, by the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. While we are hypnotized by a good beat, misogynist lyrics and messages of darkness are subliminally implanted into the minds of youth and young adults across the world.
In the midst of this instability we as Christians have a Rock that is stable and constant. David said, “When my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.” (Psalm 61) NAS Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. NIV Psalm 18:31 For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever; therefore we don’t have to fear change, because we are connected to what will never change. If our commitment and praise is connected to the Rock, then storms may come but our faith and commitment to God will yet remain.
Not only is Jesus our Rock, but He is our Star. When darkness covered the earth, God said, “Let there be light” and light appeared. When Jesus Christ was born, a star illuminated the sky from the East. Jesus encourages us KJV John 12:36 While ye have light, believe in the light, that ye may be the children of light. In His Sermon on the Mount, he said, KJV “Matthew 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
While we are living in dark times, we have an unprecedented opportunity to shine like never before! Don’t hesitate or contemplate, Seize the moment, and take advantage of every opportunity to shine for Christ.
So on August 17, 2008 Get Ready! The Youth and Young Adults of Covenant Worship Center are going to declare that “Jesus is the RockStar!” This will be the day where we will magnify our savior who transcends both instability and darkness. This will be a “Christian Worship Experience” like none other, complete with various expressions of worship and praise that all bring glory to God! Come with a Spirit of Praise and Expectation as we lift up or Rock and our Star, Jesus Christ!
Friday, July 11, 2008
I'm Hungry
So I am taking courses at Fuller Theological Seminary, Pasadena campus. The class is Presbyterian Creeds and my original intention was to satisfy a church history requirement, but God’s intentions as usual superseded mine. From the moment arrived, I noticed I was, well, let’s just say different. I’m the only student from the Northern California Campus, the only student who is African American, and the only non Presbyterian. Immediately these differences manifested themselves in regards to doctrines of the trinity, being taught as if they were law since it was established at the Nicene Creed (interestingly enough this meeting was held in Nicaea, where we get the word Nike meaning victory) I mentioned that some would argue (whenever you have a contradictory point, keep it general by saying “Some would argue” even though the some maybe you, then the argument isn’t personal) that there is only one God who has manifested Himself as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, as opposed to 3 persons, which would lend itself to the notion that there are 3 God’s, besides never in scripture can you find the term “God the Son” and one if the primary teachings is that the Lord our God is one. I shared with the class that often Pentecostal believers are labeled charismatic, and are defined by their tongue speaking, clamorous worship and expression. As a result people will seek these signs instead of seeking the Holy Spirit that produces these signs. For the bible says, KJV Mark 16:17 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover. I reaffirmed that we don’t seek after signs, but signs seek after us!
With all of this said, I could have easily hid behind my denominational and doctrinal walls, but hiding behind walls doesn’t benefit anyone. The real Holy Spirit, doesn’t come to divide but rather unite. I lowered my walls and shared the how my theology and beliefs come from scripture and not from denomination or tradition. I have met amazing people especially my small group who have a love and passion for God. We had a guest speaker, The Reverend Robert Whitaker, who contradicted Presbyterian tradition by embracing the Pentecostal experience and received, punishment, criticism, and in some cases ostracism. He firmly believes in the power of the Holy Ghost, open to manifestations and demonstrations of the Spirit, and of course speaking in tongues. When asked what prompted him to go beyond his tradition and denominational stance, he said it was hunger, that there was something more, that he wanted what they had. I pray that God will never allow me to become complacent, but that I will always be hungry for more of God, His presence, and His power.
Another speaker named Dick Mills; a powerful man who has been on the 700 Club over 13 times, spoke and then began to give words of prophecy. Immediately, J Moss came on in my mind “Everybody Ain’t got a word” “Here we go, no parking lot prophets, no get rich in 30 days, and how much will the offering be?” Notice here that I almost shut down my ability to receive based on my assumption that I already knew. There is a danger in becoming familiar with God, because we can limit or miss Him, by expecting Him to be where He was, instead allowing our hunger to drive us to where He is! This man was powerful, and every prophecy he gave, he supported with scripture. The entire class was amazed by his accuracy, and notice all of the emotion and hype was bypassed and authenticity prevailed. He got to me and said “Gentleman in the back what is your name?” I responded “Christopher” He said “Do you have any children?” I said “No.” Thinking to myself maybe he ran out of accurate prophecies before he got to me. But he proceeded and told me that I will have a large Spiritual Family and many Spiritual Children. He said he that winneth souls is wise, and said I have the wisdom to win souls.” He then instructed the class to point their hands towards me and say in reference to winning souls “Go get em Tiger!” I was grateful that this prophecy had nothing to do with my immediate temporal situation, but with my intangible purpose on the earth. My prayer has been that God will give me a ministry that is so transparent, relevant, and powerful to reach anyone and everyone.
The scriptures he gave to support the word he gave me were:
KJV Proverbs 11:30 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise.
KJV John 4:38 I sent you to reap that whereon ye bestowed no labor: other men laboured, and ye are entered into their labours.
Amidst learning about the Heidelberg Catechism, The Helvetic Confession, various doctrines and theologies, I did learn, allow nothing to satisfy your hunger for God. In a world where we measure progress, by fulfillment and completion, recognize the more you feed your appetite for God, the greater it will become. Now that I have relinquished my desire to complete my relationship with God and measure our relationship by man made benchmarks, I am falling in love with him all over again! Be relentless in your pursuit of God. KJV Matthew 5:6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
With all of this said, I could have easily hid behind my denominational and doctrinal walls, but hiding behind walls doesn’t benefit anyone. The real Holy Spirit, doesn’t come to divide but rather unite. I lowered my walls and shared the how my theology and beliefs come from scripture and not from denomination or tradition. I have met amazing people especially my small group who have a love and passion for God. We had a guest speaker, The Reverend Robert Whitaker, who contradicted Presbyterian tradition by embracing the Pentecostal experience and received, punishment, criticism, and in some cases ostracism. He firmly believes in the power of the Holy Ghost, open to manifestations and demonstrations of the Spirit, and of course speaking in tongues. When asked what prompted him to go beyond his tradition and denominational stance, he said it was hunger, that there was something more, that he wanted what they had. I pray that God will never allow me to become complacent, but that I will always be hungry for more of God, His presence, and His power.
Another speaker named Dick Mills; a powerful man who has been on the 700 Club over 13 times, spoke and then began to give words of prophecy. Immediately, J Moss came on in my mind “Everybody Ain’t got a word” “Here we go, no parking lot prophets, no get rich in 30 days, and how much will the offering be?” Notice here that I almost shut down my ability to receive based on my assumption that I already knew. There is a danger in becoming familiar with God, because we can limit or miss Him, by expecting Him to be where He was, instead allowing our hunger to drive us to where He is! This man was powerful, and every prophecy he gave, he supported with scripture. The entire class was amazed by his accuracy, and notice all of the emotion and hype was bypassed and authenticity prevailed. He got to me and said “Gentleman in the back what is your name?” I responded “Christopher” He said “Do you have any children?” I said “No.” Thinking to myself maybe he ran out of accurate prophecies before he got to me. But he proceeded and told me that I will have a large Spiritual Family and many Spiritual Children. He said he that winneth souls is wise, and said I have the wisdom to win souls.” He then instructed the class to point their hands towards me and say in reference to winning souls “Go get em Tiger!” I was grateful that this prophecy had nothing to do with my immediate temporal situation, but with my intangible purpose on the earth. My prayer has been that God will give me a ministry that is so transparent, relevant, and powerful to reach anyone and everyone.
The scriptures he gave to support the word he gave me were:
KJV Proverbs 11:30 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise.
KJV John 4:38 I sent you to reap that whereon ye bestowed no labor: other men laboured, and ye are entered into their labours.
Amidst learning about the Heidelberg Catechism, The Helvetic Confession, various doctrines and theologies, I did learn, allow nothing to satisfy your hunger for God. In a world where we measure progress, by fulfillment and completion, recognize the more you feed your appetite for God, the greater it will become. Now that I have relinquished my desire to complete my relationship with God and measure our relationship by man made benchmarks, I am falling in love with him all over again! Be relentless in your pursuit of God. KJV Matthew 5:6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
ARE WE THERE YET?
I had a great weekend in Southern California ! I attended the Regional Teen Convention. I saw my goddaughter Hannah; she is so beautiful, listened to Eld. Shawn Tyson Friday night, (he is one of the best preachers of our generation), spoke on Saturday at the conference and Sunday at Emmanuel Temple in Lynwood . (What’s up Nisan?) The culmination of my weekend was the Worship and Arts Ministry Concert back home at Covenant Worship Center , which was nothing short of amazing!
After an eventful weekend, I took a moment this evening to check in with myself to discover how I am feeling, and to take a moment to discover where I am mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Like a car that needs proper maintenance in order to reach its optimal performance, we must take time to pull into the garage of our secret place, turn off the engine of life that is constantly running in our mind, and open the hood of our heart to discover where we are.
Bro. and Sis. Windom (they have a beautiful family who we have known for years. Their daughters used to watch me when I was younger, and now have families of their own) came to hear me speak and we went to an amazing Thai Restaurant after church. While eating dinner we began to reflect on the time when our families visited Yosemite . I remember having fun, but I also remember asking the all too familiar question, “Are we there yet?” I so anxiously desired to arrive at the destination, that I didn’t appreciate the journey. Now years later, I reflect and long for the journey that I took for granted as a child.
This same pattern manifests itself in my life. I am aspiring for my Masters Degree, but I am so frustrated with how long it is taking. I don’t know how my life will evolve naturally and spiritually, and this uncertainty plagues me. I keep asking God, “Are we there yet?” When I discover issues inside of me that I desire to work on such as impatience, my attitude, my responses to situations, I rarely celebrate improvements and I beat myself up over relapses, and fail to recognize that all of this is a part of the journey.
What is there? Was Noah there when he built the ark or when he came out of the ark after the flood? Was Joseph there when he was in the pit or the palace? Was Job there when he was living righteous before the trial came, when the trial was present, or after the trial when he received double? Was Jesus there when he was on Calvary or when he got up from the grave and declared that all power is given unto me? What if I am there right now and I don’t know it? The answer is everywhere is there. If you remove any of these events you tamper with the process of these bible characters, and if you tamper with the process you can affect the product.
You are there. Wherever the presence of God is, is there. Don’t overlook or devalue, but rather enjoy your process, KJV Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ
After an eventful weekend, I took a moment this evening to check in with myself to discover how I am feeling, and to take a moment to discover where I am mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Like a car that needs proper maintenance in order to reach its optimal performance, we must take time to pull into the garage of our secret place, turn off the engine of life that is constantly running in our mind, and open the hood of our heart to discover where we are.
Bro. and Sis. Windom (they have a beautiful family who we have known for years. Their daughters used to watch me when I was younger, and now have families of their own) came to hear me speak and we went to an amazing Thai Restaurant after church. While eating dinner we began to reflect on the time when our families visited Yosemite . I remember having fun, but I also remember asking the all too familiar question, “Are we there yet?” I so anxiously desired to arrive at the destination, that I didn’t appreciate the journey. Now years later, I reflect and long for the journey that I took for granted as a child.
This same pattern manifests itself in my life. I am aspiring for my Masters Degree, but I am so frustrated with how long it is taking. I don’t know how my life will evolve naturally and spiritually, and this uncertainty plagues me. I keep asking God, “Are we there yet?” When I discover issues inside of me that I desire to work on such as impatience, my attitude, my responses to situations, I rarely celebrate improvements and I beat myself up over relapses, and fail to recognize that all of this is a part of the journey.
What is there? Was Noah there when he built the ark or when he came out of the ark after the flood? Was Joseph there when he was in the pit or the palace? Was Job there when he was living righteous before the trial came, when the trial was present, or after the trial when he received double? Was Jesus there when he was on Calvary or when he got up from the grave and declared that all power is given unto me? What if I am there right now and I don’t know it? The answer is everywhere is there. If you remove any of these events you tamper with the process of these bible characters, and if you tamper with the process you can affect the product.
You are there. Wherever the presence of God is, is there. Don’t overlook or devalue, but rather enjoy your process, KJV Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ
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