During my random musings (I have far too many of them), I have been contemplating God’s Sovereignty vs. Man’s Freewill. God has all power; yet His power doesn’t interfere with our free-will. Sometimes, in my limited thinking I have wished that God would make the right choices for me, and cause others that affect me to make the “right” choices that were in my best interest, thus eliminating any stress and heart ache creating the perfect life. This formula to a perfect life is flawed because it eliminates the expression of love through choice. It is so powerful and such a gift when one individual chooses to love another. Not coerced, mandated, but simply chooses.
The reason why my desire for God to make the right decisions was present is because I feel like ultimately His will is best for me. Often, in my willful ignorance or unintentionally I miss God’s will and feel like I subject myself to less than the best. Now my prayer is that God will synchronize His will with mine; That I will be wise enough to surrender my will to His, and that I will be patient as His will unfolds and is made manifest in my life. I wouldn’t consider myself a perfectionist, but I don’t like to settle. I would have a difficult time looking myself in the mirror knowing that I aborted the will of God because of impatience, discomfort, or limited capacity to perceive and receive His will. It would be equally disappointing if I designed a counterfeit will of God and plagiarized God’s signature as if it was really His. I can’t do it, and I won’t do it.
God you chose to send your only Son because you loved me. I respond by surrendering and saying yes to you. Yes when I can’t understand. (I am hearing in my Spirit Men of Standard Feels like Rain cd “I’m Staying in Your Will” classic) Thank you for providing space for choice because choice allows space for authentic genuine love to be expressed. It is hard to choose with only one option, but I choose you God in the midst of a plethora of options. In those moments when I am hesitant to say yes, or when I say no like Jonah did, please prepare a fish for me. Prepare an incubator that will swallow me up until I mature and come to my senses and the realization that You know what’s best. Just don’t let me stay too long; allow the fish to spit me back up so I can do what I should have been doing in the 1st place. God I love you, not because you make me, but because I choose to. Thank you for choosing and loving me.
other random thoughts (go Lakers winning game 1 of the Western Conference Finals and I like the song "Trust" with Keyshia Cole and Monica, and off to Canada for a couple of days, Spiritual Fitness Sunday was great, and Bishop House "Energized" us that evening!)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Dress Rehearsal
If you really knew me, I love arts and creativity. I love music and my favorite moment is when I hear a song and I feel like the lyrics were stolen from my heart. I also love culinary arts (What’s up Ryan & Bro. Christian?!) One day if the Lord should tarry, I would love to have an upscale restaurant and a contemporary internet café, similar to Panera Bread and The Corner Bakery Café with a Christian theme. I also would have loved to be an actor. The ability to personify a character is indescribable. I have had a few acting stints in my career, through Illustrated Sermons at Covenant Worship Center. (The Tree (still can’t believe I allowed myself to be Adam in that costume!) and The Hell Zone (Pastor Woods was James Bond and escaped the gates of Hell!) What I remember the most are dress rehearsals. Dress rehearsals would take the play to another level. The words on the script came alive. The stage was set. The characters were in position. The intent of a dress rehearsal is to perform the play just as if it were the actual performance. Often the cast would not realize the importance of the dress rehearsal and would crack jokes while in costume, ignore the director’s sense of urgency believing that things would just come together.
I am concerned that we are in the greatest dress rehearsal of our life and many may not recognize it. The script of the bible concerning the end times (Matthew 24) is unfolding right before our eyes, and many still think there is time before the actual performance while the Director of Heaven and Earth is preparing us with a desperate since of urgency.
The Stage is Set.
The swine flu gives us insight to how the world could possibly be when plagues and pestilences are released during times of the tribulation. The interdependence of our world through culture and economy is already present. Natural disasters including hurricanes, tsunamis, and earthquakes are all indications for the world to prepare for the coming of the Lord. (Romans 8:19-23) Trouble in American Economy impacts the world’s economy. CNN and the World Wide Web allow information to be disseminated globally with the click of a button. The stage is set for a ruler who is Charismatic to come with all of the alleged solutions to the worlds problems. Headlines from the bible are literally on our television screens. This is without question the dress rehearsal. As Noah prepared the ark, the world ignored the preparation of the ark until it was too late, and they were on the outside looking in. Just like Sodom and Gomorra ignored warning until it was too late.
What is the cast doing?
Are we as the church the bride and body of Christ preparing like we should? Have I lost sight of the director? Have I become so familiar with the directors words that I no longer hear His voice? Do I go through this rehearsal non-chalant because I think there are many rehearsals to come? Wake up, snap out of it! Nothing matters more than seeing my God’s face in peace. Often the church lives in the future perpetually and looses sight of the importance and impact of the present. Time is of the essence. Every day I must make decisions that mold and make me into the image of Christ. I must make a conscious effort to prepare myself for the return of Christ. Matthew 24:44 44 Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh. Don’t spend your time majoring in minors. Money is important, but it is not the primary thing. Relationships are important, but they aren’t the primary thing. Promotion and progression are important but aren’t the main things. Matthew 16:24-26 24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. 26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? I now understand what the older saints meant when they declared, “I am living to live again!”
We are called to be salt of the earth and the light of the world. The greater the darkness, the greater the light should shine. The world is counting on the church to shine in this hour. It is time to be about our father’s business. John 9:4-5 4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work. 5 As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.
All right it’s getting late in New Jersey, so back to studying and watching the Lakers game! (Don’t hate on my multi-tasking)
I am concerned that we are in the greatest dress rehearsal of our life and many may not recognize it. The script of the bible concerning the end times (Matthew 24) is unfolding right before our eyes, and many still think there is time before the actual performance while the Director of Heaven and Earth is preparing us with a desperate since of urgency.
The Stage is Set.
The swine flu gives us insight to how the world could possibly be when plagues and pestilences are released during times of the tribulation. The interdependence of our world through culture and economy is already present. Natural disasters including hurricanes, tsunamis, and earthquakes are all indications for the world to prepare for the coming of the Lord. (Romans 8:19-23) Trouble in American Economy impacts the world’s economy. CNN and the World Wide Web allow information to be disseminated globally with the click of a button. The stage is set for a ruler who is Charismatic to come with all of the alleged solutions to the worlds problems. Headlines from the bible are literally on our television screens. This is without question the dress rehearsal. As Noah prepared the ark, the world ignored the preparation of the ark until it was too late, and they were on the outside looking in. Just like Sodom and Gomorra ignored warning until it was too late.
What is the cast doing?
Are we as the church the bride and body of Christ preparing like we should? Have I lost sight of the director? Have I become so familiar with the directors words that I no longer hear His voice? Do I go through this rehearsal non-chalant because I think there are many rehearsals to come? Wake up, snap out of it! Nothing matters more than seeing my God’s face in peace. Often the church lives in the future perpetually and looses sight of the importance and impact of the present. Time is of the essence. Every day I must make decisions that mold and make me into the image of Christ. I must make a conscious effort to prepare myself for the return of Christ. Matthew 24:44 44 Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh. Don’t spend your time majoring in minors. Money is important, but it is not the primary thing. Relationships are important, but they aren’t the primary thing. Promotion and progression are important but aren’t the main things. Matthew 16:24-26 24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. 26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? I now understand what the older saints meant when they declared, “I am living to live again!”
We are called to be salt of the earth and the light of the world. The greater the darkness, the greater the light should shine. The world is counting on the church to shine in this hour. It is time to be about our father’s business. John 9:4-5 4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work. 5 As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.
All right it’s getting late in New Jersey, so back to studying and watching the Lakers game! (Don’t hate on my multi-tasking)
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The Truth about Contradiction
Senator Arlen Specter has decided to switch his allegiance from Republican to Democrat which could dramatically impact the Senate. Typically many of the conservative views of Republicans and their undeniable allegiance to Israel; God’s chosen people, aligns with many biblical views. With that said much contradiction remains when it appears as if many of the policy issues that impact the middle class are overlooked and as many Democrats attempt to reconcile these economic issues the Republicans respond with the ideology government should not intervene. Non intervention led to Lehman brothers and lies, deceit and mortgage crisis. Non intervention has led us to the worst predicament since The Great Depression, which was remedied through government intervention.
Historically in the church arena contradiction and consternation have existed. Calvinist believed in church government and meetings, while Lutherans readily subscribe to the notion that the bible is the ultimate authority, not popes, or councils. While this is true theoretically in actuality the bible is often interpreted differently which is what led to the need for councils and discussions. Today those who present the truth often do it without love in an abrasive fashion which ostracizes the world. Those who are “seeker sensitive” often are accused of minimizing the truth to reach the masses.
Personally this same contradiction resides within each of us between the flesh and the spirit. The reason why we are so perturbed and annoyed by contradiction and hypocrisy in others is because if calls out the hypocrisy that resides within ourselves. How can one be so anointed and gifted and still struggle with issues regarding character and the flesh? Romans 7:21-25 21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. 22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? 25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin. (Thank you Paul for unveiling this contradiction)
Ambiguity dominates our world. It sets the stage for the Anti-Christ (read 2 Thessalonians 2) as the mystery of iniquity is already at work. Satan has a Masters of Arts in Perversion. He takes what is inherently good created by God and attempts to distort it for evil. The world is so filled with hypocrisy that the Anti-Christ can easily emerge with a message of peace and safety, which will be followed by sudden destruction.
So the question is how do I separate the original good from the perverted evil? The Anabaptist removed themselves from society and the culture of the world all together; however this isolation prevents us from impacting the world for Christ. The answer to hypocrisy and ambiguity is truth. John 17:17 17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. What lies have I inherited? What lies have I told to myself? What fiction have I convinced myself to believe that are facts? From this day forward I choose to define myself based on the word of God exclusively. Jesus is the only one who can tackle the internal ambiguity inside of me and the external ambiguity of the world. I have always desired the truth, but I couldn’t handle the truth, but if I am going to become the reflection of God that I was created to be, I must embrace truth.
Historically in the church arena contradiction and consternation have existed. Calvinist believed in church government and meetings, while Lutherans readily subscribe to the notion that the bible is the ultimate authority, not popes, or councils. While this is true theoretically in actuality the bible is often interpreted differently which is what led to the need for councils and discussions. Today those who present the truth often do it without love in an abrasive fashion which ostracizes the world. Those who are “seeker sensitive” often are accused of minimizing the truth to reach the masses.
Personally this same contradiction resides within each of us between the flesh and the spirit. The reason why we are so perturbed and annoyed by contradiction and hypocrisy in others is because if calls out the hypocrisy that resides within ourselves. How can one be so anointed and gifted and still struggle with issues regarding character and the flesh? Romans 7:21-25 21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. 22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? 25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin. (Thank you Paul for unveiling this contradiction)
Ambiguity dominates our world. It sets the stage for the Anti-Christ (read 2 Thessalonians 2) as the mystery of iniquity is already at work. Satan has a Masters of Arts in Perversion. He takes what is inherently good created by God and attempts to distort it for evil. The world is so filled with hypocrisy that the Anti-Christ can easily emerge with a message of peace and safety, which will be followed by sudden destruction.
So the question is how do I separate the original good from the perverted evil? The Anabaptist removed themselves from society and the culture of the world all together; however this isolation prevents us from impacting the world for Christ. The answer to hypocrisy and ambiguity is truth. John 17:17 17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. What lies have I inherited? What lies have I told to myself? What fiction have I convinced myself to believe that are facts? From this day forward I choose to define myself based on the word of God exclusively. Jesus is the only one who can tackle the internal ambiguity inside of me and the external ambiguity of the world. I have always desired the truth, but I couldn’t handle the truth, but if I am going to become the reflection of God that I was created to be, I must embrace truth.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Practice What You Preach
I was afforded the distinct honor and privilege of presenting the word of God on this past Palm Sunday. Palm Sunday marks the beginning of what is commonly referred to as Passion Week; the most significant week in the Christtian faith, beginning with Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem, through Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, and culminating with Resurrection Sunday. My message was entitled “A Lot Can Change in a Week”. I was so elated when I discovered that a woman sat on a bench outside of the church during the message of the 9am service and felt compelled to come in and received the Holy Ghost during the 11:30 service. That afternoon I spent time with the Russell’s (another young couple who inspires me shout out Robinson's, Meje’s and Jones-Bey’s in no particular order lol) attended the Master builders Men’s Ministry Fellowship, and celebrated Ain’s 35th birthday. I enjoyed being around people, and I felt like this afternoon simply prolonged the inevitable.
After ministering there usually is a deep place of reflection and introspection. It is impossible to minister effectively and not become vulnerable and exposed, therefore causing you to become susceptible to the enemy. It is a blessing to those who have relationships and divine connections with individuals who can cover you during these times of extreme post ministry spiritual exposure. As I drove home silence became loud and my consternation became intense. God responded and reminded me to “Practice what you preach”
The points of the message concerning Passion Week were:
Seize the Moment- Every moment counts. If Jesus disdained earlier moments of His earthly ministry He would have been disqualified for the moment that would altar the course of the world and humanity for ever. Passion Week was possible because of what He did prior to Passion Week.
If you Don’t Define Yourself, People will do it for you- As Jesus entered Jerusalem on Sunday people waved Palm branches and hailed “Hosanna, Blessed is the King of Israel, that comes in the name of the Lord!” On Friday the same people were saying, “Give us Barabas, and crucify him!” He didn’t change but there definition of Him changed. He remained constant in the midst of fluctuation.
You Can’t Conceal What God wants to Reveal- When Jesus was at the marriage of Cana of Galilee and they ran out of wine, His mother asked him to come and perform the miracle of replenishing the supply. Jesus responded and asked his mother, “Why would you involve me with this miracle? My hour is not come yet, (NIV my time is not yet)” However during this Passion Week, Jesus couldn’t be concealed anymore, all of Him was about to be revealed.
Passion + Purpose = Destiny
Passion may get you there, but when passion begins to flee it is purpose that will keep you there. While in the Garden of Gethsemane, His passion said if it be possible, let this cup pass, but His purpose said nevertheless not my will but thy will be done.
The Lord reminded me, that I can’t focus on my past or future, but must use my present to ameliorate the pain of my past, and use my present as a catalyst to change my future. The Lord stressed to me the importance of remaining consistent in the midst of inconsistent circumstances. While the revealing process might be painful, the suffering of the present time is not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us! (That was tight, should have said that Sunday!) And finally, I can’t allow anything to cause me to forfeit my purpose.
If Jesus could change the world in a week, why can’t I through the power of God, change my world this week? The world went from being a slave to the curse of sin to being liberated through Jesus in a week. Jesus went from being beneath the ground to above the ground in a week. He rode in on a donkey and rode off on clouds. Jesus teaches us a valuable lesson: the way you go in is the way you are coming out. He entered triumphantly into Jerusalem to face the trial of His life, and had a triumphant exit from the grave! It’s my turn!
(All right, that's a wrap, I had dinner at my favorite restaurant in Chicago, Texas De Brazil and a piece of chocolate cake is calling my name! I love my job, I was in New York last week and spent time in Chicago this week, it is so crazy to have restaurant spots in multiple cities (In New York Little Vinnies Italian food on 1st and 1st is bomb also!, finally get Israel's new CD!!!!)
After ministering there usually is a deep place of reflection and introspection. It is impossible to minister effectively and not become vulnerable and exposed, therefore causing you to become susceptible to the enemy. It is a blessing to those who have relationships and divine connections with individuals who can cover you during these times of extreme post ministry spiritual exposure. As I drove home silence became loud and my consternation became intense. God responded and reminded me to “Practice what you preach”
The points of the message concerning Passion Week were:
Seize the Moment- Every moment counts. If Jesus disdained earlier moments of His earthly ministry He would have been disqualified for the moment that would altar the course of the world and humanity for ever. Passion Week was possible because of what He did prior to Passion Week.
If you Don’t Define Yourself, People will do it for you- As Jesus entered Jerusalem on Sunday people waved Palm branches and hailed “Hosanna, Blessed is the King of Israel, that comes in the name of the Lord!” On Friday the same people were saying, “Give us Barabas, and crucify him!” He didn’t change but there definition of Him changed. He remained constant in the midst of fluctuation.
You Can’t Conceal What God wants to Reveal- When Jesus was at the marriage of Cana of Galilee and they ran out of wine, His mother asked him to come and perform the miracle of replenishing the supply. Jesus responded and asked his mother, “Why would you involve me with this miracle? My hour is not come yet, (NIV my time is not yet)” However during this Passion Week, Jesus couldn’t be concealed anymore, all of Him was about to be revealed.
Passion + Purpose = Destiny
Passion may get you there, but when passion begins to flee it is purpose that will keep you there. While in the Garden of Gethsemane, His passion said if it be possible, let this cup pass, but His purpose said nevertheless not my will but thy will be done.
The Lord reminded me, that I can’t focus on my past or future, but must use my present to ameliorate the pain of my past, and use my present as a catalyst to change my future. The Lord stressed to me the importance of remaining consistent in the midst of inconsistent circumstances. While the revealing process might be painful, the suffering of the present time is not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us! (That was tight, should have said that Sunday!) And finally, I can’t allow anything to cause me to forfeit my purpose.
If Jesus could change the world in a week, why can’t I through the power of God, change my world this week? The world went from being a slave to the curse of sin to being liberated through Jesus in a week. Jesus went from being beneath the ground to above the ground in a week. He rode in on a donkey and rode off on clouds. Jesus teaches us a valuable lesson: the way you go in is the way you are coming out. He entered triumphantly into Jerusalem to face the trial of His life, and had a triumphant exit from the grave! It’s my turn!
(All right, that's a wrap, I had dinner at my favorite restaurant in Chicago, Texas De Brazil and a piece of chocolate cake is calling my name! I love my job, I was in New York last week and spent time in Chicago this week, it is so crazy to have restaurant spots in multiple cities (In New York Little Vinnies Italian food on 1st and 1st is bomb also!, finally get Israel's new CD!!!!)
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Selah: Pause, Reflect, and Praise
I love being hit by the word of God. Some go to church and play dodge ball; believing the objective is not to be hit by the word. The word has revealed to me that in my efforts to progress in every area of my life, I rarely if ever, take a moment to pause and acknowledge what God has done. I thank Him frequently, but it is on the way to accomplishing the next feat. There is significance to the pause. After some Psalms you will find the word Selah, which means to pause reflect and lift up and exalt.
The pause gives time for reflection, assessment, and helps determine the next course of action. It is so unfortunate I am getting this lesson during the latter stage of my 20’s which is a time period filled with pursuit and positioning. I received a picture (thanks Kaycee) from my High school prom, as I looked back at the picture; I recognized how special that time was. I thought about the relationships that were formed and those that have persisted. I took for granted walking through the halls, spending time with friends during lunch, and extra curricular activities. At the time, my only thoughts were about graduation. I never paused to think that later in life, I am going to reminisce on these days, so instead of complaining I am should enjoy them.
I took some UC Berkeley students to lunch on Friday, and I didn’t recognize how much I enjoyed my undergraduate experience until years latter while visiting the campus. I was again so anxious to graduate I didn’t recognize how beneficial that time period was to my life. Prophetess Janet Jackson was right, “You don’t know what you’ve got till its gone” It is amazing how I long for what was right in front of me, and it isn’t until what was in front of me is gone that I appreciate what I had. This trend must stop. How tragic would it be to miss life, because you were too busy living it?
During the creation process, God would pause and say, “It was good.” Upon the culmination of the creation process on the 7th day He paused and rested. In the Old Testament the Sabbath was established, it was a day of rest where no work was to be done. Jesus brought rest and became the Lord of the Sabbath, however while the day is fulfilled through Jesus, the principal of rest yet remains. When David was bringing the Ark of the Covenant from the house of Obededom to the City of David, after 6 paces, he stopped offered sacrifice, praised, and danced before the Lord.
It has been longer than 6 paces, but it is time for me to stop and praise. Lord, I often pause and complain, but forgive me for not pausing and praising. Thank you for where I am right now. Thank you for spiritual growth that I didn’t know was possible. Thank you for giving me a job where this week I witnessed, reclusive young people transform to being able to share about being beaten with extension cords, generational anger issues, addictions to cocaine and heroin, miscarriages during teenage pregnancy, victims of gang violence, and come to me after and say, “You changed my life.” Some people go their entire life and never hear those words. Thank you for revealing my purpose and allowing me to be immersed in my purpose for being here. Thank you for the opportunities to be used by you and to share your word. I refuse to look back years later on today, and miss how great the life is that I have currently because I was focusing on problems or exclusively looking to the future.
The pause gives time for reflection, assessment, and helps determine the next course of action. It is so unfortunate I am getting this lesson during the latter stage of my 20’s which is a time period filled with pursuit and positioning. I received a picture (thanks Kaycee) from my High school prom, as I looked back at the picture; I recognized how special that time was. I thought about the relationships that were formed and those that have persisted. I took for granted walking through the halls, spending time with friends during lunch, and extra curricular activities. At the time, my only thoughts were about graduation. I never paused to think that later in life, I am going to reminisce on these days, so instead of complaining I am should enjoy them.
I took some UC Berkeley students to lunch on Friday, and I didn’t recognize how much I enjoyed my undergraduate experience until years latter while visiting the campus. I was again so anxious to graduate I didn’t recognize how beneficial that time period was to my life. Prophetess Janet Jackson was right, “You don’t know what you’ve got till its gone” It is amazing how I long for what was right in front of me, and it isn’t until what was in front of me is gone that I appreciate what I had. This trend must stop. How tragic would it be to miss life, because you were too busy living it?
During the creation process, God would pause and say, “It was good.” Upon the culmination of the creation process on the 7th day He paused and rested. In the Old Testament the Sabbath was established, it was a day of rest where no work was to be done. Jesus brought rest and became the Lord of the Sabbath, however while the day is fulfilled through Jesus, the principal of rest yet remains. When David was bringing the Ark of the Covenant from the house of Obededom to the City of David, after 6 paces, he stopped offered sacrifice, praised, and danced before the Lord.
It has been longer than 6 paces, but it is time for me to stop and praise. Lord, I often pause and complain, but forgive me for not pausing and praising. Thank you for where I am right now. Thank you for spiritual growth that I didn’t know was possible. Thank you for giving me a job where this week I witnessed, reclusive young people transform to being able to share about being beaten with extension cords, generational anger issues, addictions to cocaine and heroin, miscarriages during teenage pregnancy, victims of gang violence, and come to me after and say, “You changed my life.” Some people go their entire life and never hear those words. Thank you for revealing my purpose and allowing me to be immersed in my purpose for being here. Thank you for the opportunities to be used by you and to share your word. I refuse to look back years later on today, and miss how great the life is that I have currently because I was focusing on problems or exclusively looking to the future.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Psalms of Lament and Thanksgiving
A Psalm of Lament
My spirit is broken, on life support. My faith breathes for me because I can no longer breathe for myself. As I lay still on my bed, lifeless, I can no longer distinguish the night from the day. The seasons change, but every day I feel the winter cold. When will my season change? How long will I feel this way? I cry out to God desperately in anguish and instead of a response I hear the echoes of an empty room. I know you are real; you have manifested your power before for me and for others. I have read about how you delivered Joseph, how you made a woman whole after 12 years, how you have spoken to a man with an infirmity and he began to walk. But I yet remain in the pit, I still deal with my issue, and I am still on my bed of affliction. My faith for the deliverance of others is abundant, as I proclaim your power, I see you working on their behalf, but personal disappointment has left my personal faith account depleted. I have gripped the life of my dreams only to have it dropped and broken. Now I wonder if you will give me blessings that are exceedingly abundantly above all I can ask or think, or if I will compromise my dreams and settle for mediocrity. I consider death as an option and my lifeless spirit responds with a faint pulse, a stubborn resolve that refuses to die. Your word reminds me so gently that faith the size of mustard scene can move mountains. My purpose reminds me that you can’t die until I am revealed. My vision begins to emanate from the dark clouds. God deliver me for your names’ sake. When I am delivered I will not forget that it was your hand that has made me to rejoice. I will boldly declare your majesty and power to all.
A Psalm of Thanksgiving
I long for and remember the days when life simple, when innocence and purity were present in every area of life. I remember when my connection with you was so natural and uninhibited. I was an empty vessel, ready to be filled with your word, power and glory. But I didn't know that experience produces power and glory. What was once pure and organic has become contaminated. I wish I remembered the day when things started to change, when the erosion occurred, when the slow fade began. Like the calm before the storm, my life has undergone destruction, and devastation, what I once known is no more. Now I wonder displaced, dejected, and with questions. My prayers have become questions, often questions without answers. Day by day I began to feel distant. Distant from you, distant from myself, because without you there is no me. There were times when I know I walked away from you, and also times when I felt like you weren’t close to me. As I currently pray, you remind me of my original prayer, to be used by you totally, I made a vow to you on the night I received your Spirit that if you fill me with your power, I will never walk away from you. I thought I desired purpose and power, but was unaware of the process that yields those results. You have birthed and commitment and resilience in my Spirit that can’t be broken, and part of me hates to admit, that the process you allowed was the process necessary. What I have believed has changed, but who I believe will never change.
I am taking an Old Testament course this semester, and here was a brief assignment, and these were the instructions given by the Professor. So I am passing them to you, write a Psalm of your own, either a Psalm of Lament or Thanksgiving and then post in on the blog, and lets be blessed by each others Psalms!
Lament Instructions:
Decide who are the people in need that you are praying for: your church, your city, your people, another person our yourself. Remind yourself and God of key facts about who God is or things God has done in the past. Tell God straight about the need (about the facts, the feelings, the fears) Tell God you still trust - or tell him you can no longer trust. Tell God what you want, in one line. Listen for God’s answer, and/or imagine you have heard God’s answer. Respond to the answer.
Thanksgiving Instructions:
Decide who are the people you are testifying for.
Tell the story of how things were: (when you were doing fine, how things collapsed, how you prayed, the way God answered, the difference God’s answer made. Express how you now feel. Say what your attitude towards God will be in the future. Tell other people what difference this should make to them. Talk more about God than about you.
For any kind of Psalm, remember:
You don’t have to include all the above aspects or keep to that order.
Decide what needs to be said in the light of these possibilities. Express yourself in images. Don’t blame yourself unless you’ve got special reason. Reflect your own experiences but do so indirectly, so other people can identify with them. Say things more than once, in different words.
My spirit is broken, on life support. My faith breathes for me because I can no longer breathe for myself. As I lay still on my bed, lifeless, I can no longer distinguish the night from the day. The seasons change, but every day I feel the winter cold. When will my season change? How long will I feel this way? I cry out to God desperately in anguish and instead of a response I hear the echoes of an empty room. I know you are real; you have manifested your power before for me and for others. I have read about how you delivered Joseph, how you made a woman whole after 12 years, how you have spoken to a man with an infirmity and he began to walk. But I yet remain in the pit, I still deal with my issue, and I am still on my bed of affliction. My faith for the deliverance of others is abundant, as I proclaim your power, I see you working on their behalf, but personal disappointment has left my personal faith account depleted. I have gripped the life of my dreams only to have it dropped and broken. Now I wonder if you will give me blessings that are exceedingly abundantly above all I can ask or think, or if I will compromise my dreams and settle for mediocrity. I consider death as an option and my lifeless spirit responds with a faint pulse, a stubborn resolve that refuses to die. Your word reminds me so gently that faith the size of mustard scene can move mountains. My purpose reminds me that you can’t die until I am revealed. My vision begins to emanate from the dark clouds. God deliver me for your names’ sake. When I am delivered I will not forget that it was your hand that has made me to rejoice. I will boldly declare your majesty and power to all.
A Psalm of Thanksgiving
I long for and remember the days when life simple, when innocence and purity were present in every area of life. I remember when my connection with you was so natural and uninhibited. I was an empty vessel, ready to be filled with your word, power and glory. But I didn't know that experience produces power and glory. What was once pure and organic has become contaminated. I wish I remembered the day when things started to change, when the erosion occurred, when the slow fade began. Like the calm before the storm, my life has undergone destruction, and devastation, what I once known is no more. Now I wonder displaced, dejected, and with questions. My prayers have become questions, often questions without answers. Day by day I began to feel distant. Distant from you, distant from myself, because without you there is no me. There were times when I know I walked away from you, and also times when I felt like you weren’t close to me. As I currently pray, you remind me of my original prayer, to be used by you totally, I made a vow to you on the night I received your Spirit that if you fill me with your power, I will never walk away from you. I thought I desired purpose and power, but was unaware of the process that yields those results. You have birthed and commitment and resilience in my Spirit that can’t be broken, and part of me hates to admit, that the process you allowed was the process necessary. What I have believed has changed, but who I believe will never change.
I am taking an Old Testament course this semester, and here was a brief assignment, and these were the instructions given by the Professor. So I am passing them to you, write a Psalm of your own, either a Psalm of Lament or Thanksgiving and then post in on the blog, and lets be blessed by each others Psalms!
Lament Instructions:
Decide who are the people in need that you are praying for: your church, your city, your people, another person our yourself. Remind yourself and God of key facts about who God is or things God has done in the past. Tell God straight about the need (about the facts, the feelings, the fears) Tell God you still trust - or tell him you can no longer trust. Tell God what you want, in one line. Listen for God’s answer, and/or imagine you have heard God’s answer. Respond to the answer.
Thanksgiving Instructions:
Decide who are the people you are testifying for.
Tell the story of how things were: (when you were doing fine, how things collapsed, how you prayed, the way God answered, the difference God’s answer made. Express how you now feel. Say what your attitude towards God will be in the future. Tell other people what difference this should make to them. Talk more about God than about you.
For any kind of Psalm, remember:
You don’t have to include all the above aspects or keep to that order.
Decide what needs to be said in the light of these possibilities. Express yourself in images. Don’t blame yourself unless you’ve got special reason. Reflect your own experiences but do so indirectly, so other people can identify with them. Say things more than once, in different words.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
New Year, New Heart
Jeremiah 17:9-10 9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? 10 I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.
Heart: Hebrew: leb 1) inner man, mind, will, heart, understanding
Heart: Greek: kardi,a kardia {kar-dee'-ah} that organ in the animal body which is the centre of the circulation of the blood, and hence was regarded as the seat of physical life 1) denotes the centre of all physical and spiritual life, 2a) the soul or mind, as it is the fountain and seat of the thoughts, passions, desires, appetites, affections, purposes, endeavours
Deceitful: Hebrew: {aw-kobe'} 1) deceitful, sly, insidious, slippery
Wicked: Hebrew: {aw-nash'} 1) to be weak, sick, frail, to be incurable
So according to Jeremiah, our heart/inner man, will, is deceitful, sly, insidious, and slippery, the heart is weak, frail and incurable, and who can know it?
I have discovered that a vast majority of issues that many encounter are relational issues. On one hand it is our vertical relationship between us and God, and on the other hand, it is our horizontal relationships with others.
Significant relationships require love, and love requires the involvement of the heart. Therefore if we are to have successful, vibrant, God inspired relationships of any kind, it is incumbent of us to address the heart. The heart is internal, and it is difficult to diagnose the condition of the heart by looking on the outside individual. The Lord told Samuel “... man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” So let’s take an honest in depth at the heart…
What is the condition of my heart?
(normally I would use the pronoun we/our to make it generic, but I will be the guinea pig and put myself out there)
I’ve discovered that my heart is strong for others. I pride myself on being compassionate and a conduit of love that flows from God through me to the world. Personally my heart is damaged and fragile (this blog is becoming way to personal.) not in a victimized sense of the word, where I desire pity but in a realistic sense. Don’t get it twisted my heart is also deceitful. I have a tendency to love in matrix that don’t require me to have the love reciprocated (i.e. ministry and professional life). When people validate me in these scenarios, I immediately give it back to God. Very little risk is required on my end; however, it is deceitful because it isn’t just about giving it to God, it’s about a subtle fear of being vulnerable and exposed to rejection so I share my love in these areas that don’t expose me personally. Ultimately in regards to serving others, I expect nothing in return, and if love is reciprocated, I give it back to God while I remain emotionally distant from the equation.
How did it become this way?
Spiritually speaking my heart became strong from trusting God, and following His word, allowing his love to fill my heart. My heart has also incurred damage through disappointment with God, where I have become bitter and disheartened when my reality doesn’t seem to match my expectations of God and His word. This trend is prevalent personally, from childhood, through adolescence, into adulthood when exposing our hearts to individuals whose words don’t match behaviors, these actions can chip away and slowly erode our heart. As a result trust is broken, confidence is shattered and hearts become critical, cynical, jaded, and fearful. Instead of allowing ourselves to feel, driven by fear we protect our heart in many ways which is dangerous because it interferes with experiencing real God love. For God, fear and love are mutually exclusive. 1 John 4:18 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
How does this impact the way I live my life?
Some respond to the hurt and pain of their past, by switching roles allowing the victim to be the perpetrator. In actuality, the new perpetrator remains a victim, because they are living without the innocence they once had, allowing love to be less than pure and a game based on calculation and manipulation. Therefore this response is not a viable option.
It affects the way I live because, even on a personal level often I love to the extent that doesn’t require me to trust or be affected. The moment I decide to trust I am exposed to another person. To combat this fear, often I would allow a person inside and then reject them when they got close to my comfort zone, not recognize what I was rejecting, was really what I desired. In a weird way, I would sabotage or hurt myself so I didn’t have to experience hurt from the other party. (Craziness! the bible is right the heart is a trip, who could know it?) Don’t get it twisted, I have learned (and continue to learn) to use extreme discretion before giving your heart to an individual. But even after we decide (this is a conscious decision, and remember decisions come with a responsibility and a duty, so make wise decisions) to take the risk, I have learned not to trust the person, but to trust the God that is inside of the person. Which is why it is difficult to have a meaningful relationship with anyone who is not connected to God, and allowing God to shape and mold them in His image. It is imperative that a person loves God more than they love you. Not just in words, but in action. It takes time for actions to manifest themselves. Time provides multiple scenarios and situations to discover who a person is. If you want to know what something is made of, you change the environment. I used to subscribe to the theory, when people tell you about themselves believe them, I would add an addendum to that, when people show you themselves, believe that as well.
So God I need you in essence to choose for me. If my heart according to the word is slippery and deceitful, I do not want to make decisions from this corrupt place. I can’t “follow my heart,” but I desire now to follow your heart. Perhaps my heart needs to be broken so I can have a heart transplant, where your heart beats inside of me. So that is where I have arrived, I am tired of operating on myself alone. I need you to be my cardiologist and Create in me a clean heart and renew a right Spirit. Please schedule my surgery immediately.
Heart: Hebrew: leb 1) inner man, mind, will, heart, understanding
Heart: Greek: kardi,a kardia {kar-dee'-ah} that organ in the animal body which is the centre of the circulation of the blood, and hence was regarded as the seat of physical life 1) denotes the centre of all physical and spiritual life, 2a) the soul or mind, as it is the fountain and seat of the thoughts, passions, desires, appetites, affections, purposes, endeavours
Deceitful: Hebrew: {aw-kobe'} 1) deceitful, sly, insidious, slippery
Wicked: Hebrew: {aw-nash'} 1) to be weak, sick, frail, to be incurable
So according to Jeremiah, our heart/inner man, will, is deceitful, sly, insidious, and slippery, the heart is weak, frail and incurable, and who can know it?
I have discovered that a vast majority of issues that many encounter are relational issues. On one hand it is our vertical relationship between us and God, and on the other hand, it is our horizontal relationships with others.
Significant relationships require love, and love requires the involvement of the heart. Therefore if we are to have successful, vibrant, God inspired relationships of any kind, it is incumbent of us to address the heart. The heart is internal, and it is difficult to diagnose the condition of the heart by looking on the outside individual. The Lord told Samuel “... man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” So let’s take an honest in depth at the heart…
What is the condition of my heart?
(normally I would use the pronoun we/our to make it generic, but I will be the guinea pig and put myself out there)
I’ve discovered that my heart is strong for others. I pride myself on being compassionate and a conduit of love that flows from God through me to the world. Personally my heart is damaged and fragile (this blog is becoming way to personal.) not in a victimized sense of the word, where I desire pity but in a realistic sense. Don’t get it twisted my heart is also deceitful. I have a tendency to love in matrix that don’t require me to have the love reciprocated (i.e. ministry and professional life). When people validate me in these scenarios, I immediately give it back to God. Very little risk is required on my end; however, it is deceitful because it isn’t just about giving it to God, it’s about a subtle fear of being vulnerable and exposed to rejection so I share my love in these areas that don’t expose me personally. Ultimately in regards to serving others, I expect nothing in return, and if love is reciprocated, I give it back to God while I remain emotionally distant from the equation.
How did it become this way?
Spiritually speaking my heart became strong from trusting God, and following His word, allowing his love to fill my heart. My heart has also incurred damage through disappointment with God, where I have become bitter and disheartened when my reality doesn’t seem to match my expectations of God and His word. This trend is prevalent personally, from childhood, through adolescence, into adulthood when exposing our hearts to individuals whose words don’t match behaviors, these actions can chip away and slowly erode our heart. As a result trust is broken, confidence is shattered and hearts become critical, cynical, jaded, and fearful. Instead of allowing ourselves to feel, driven by fear we protect our heart in many ways which is dangerous because it interferes with experiencing real God love. For God, fear and love are mutually exclusive. 1 John 4:18 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
How does this impact the way I live my life?
Some respond to the hurt and pain of their past, by switching roles allowing the victim to be the perpetrator. In actuality, the new perpetrator remains a victim, because they are living without the innocence they once had, allowing love to be less than pure and a game based on calculation and manipulation. Therefore this response is not a viable option.
It affects the way I live because, even on a personal level often I love to the extent that doesn’t require me to trust or be affected. The moment I decide to trust I am exposed to another person. To combat this fear, often I would allow a person inside and then reject them when they got close to my comfort zone, not recognize what I was rejecting, was really what I desired. In a weird way, I would sabotage or hurt myself so I didn’t have to experience hurt from the other party. (Craziness! the bible is right the heart is a trip, who could know it?) Don’t get it twisted, I have learned (and continue to learn) to use extreme discretion before giving your heart to an individual. But even after we decide (this is a conscious decision, and remember decisions come with a responsibility and a duty, so make wise decisions) to take the risk, I have learned not to trust the person, but to trust the God that is inside of the person. Which is why it is difficult to have a meaningful relationship with anyone who is not connected to God, and allowing God to shape and mold them in His image. It is imperative that a person loves God more than they love you. Not just in words, but in action. It takes time for actions to manifest themselves. Time provides multiple scenarios and situations to discover who a person is. If you want to know what something is made of, you change the environment. I used to subscribe to the theory, when people tell you about themselves believe them, I would add an addendum to that, when people show you themselves, believe that as well.
So God I need you in essence to choose for me. If my heart according to the word is slippery and deceitful, I do not want to make decisions from this corrupt place. I can’t “follow my heart,” but I desire now to follow your heart. Perhaps my heart needs to be broken so I can have a heart transplant, where your heart beats inside of me. So that is where I have arrived, I am tired of operating on myself alone. I need you to be my cardiologist and Create in me a clean heart and renew a right Spirit. Please schedule my surgery immediately.
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